Golfer Pacific

Slow play needs a quick fix

Posted in Australian Golf,Golf,Golfer Pacific,Slow Play by golferpacific on March 26, 2009

OK, so what constitutes slow play in golf these days and where do we draw the line?

Admittedly, the problem isn’t nearly as bad as it is made out to be in competition golf.

But for those having a social bash, like I did at the weekend, this problem is becoming increasingly worse and course marshalls need to do their job.

Groups of four or more, slow walkers, intoxicated hoons, people scoring cards on the greens – not the next tees – and those who feel the need for a few practice putts after they have already holed out…aarrrhhh! It does my head in.

Like most of you, I have had some bad experiences playing socially.

But on the weekend I encountered by far the worst of these.

I got stuck behind a group of nine….YES…. NINE!

This extended family of friends felt the need to all pair up in a nonet (that’s a group of nine by the way).

Throw in six motorised carts, 123 air swings and a dash of no idea and you have the recipe for possibly the most ridiculous tee grouping of the year.

I sat with my playing partner on the tee for nearly 20 minutes while this group of morons tried to locate their balls, strolling ever so casually across the fairways, back-and-forth to grab clubs.

Truth is – they could have used toothpicks – it wouldn’t have mattered.

One bloke had five air swings then backed that up with a shank onto the next fairway.

The result?

A few laughs and an extended conversation about how he accomplished such a feat, without moving in a forward direction.

Throughout this marathon these pillocks were constantly looking back to see us and a growing trail of golfers banked up behind…but no….no need to panic or even wave to let us play through.

Instead, they were more than happy to continue their motorcade to the 19th.  

After seven unsuccessful phone calls to the clubhouse at 4.30pm to try and get an official to get off his high horse and push these guys along, we surrendered and tried another tee.

It appeared it was an early knock-off day for the pro shop, but not for me and my playing partner.

As it was, we walked off the course in pitch black darkness after completing just 13 holes.

I’m willing to give the club the benefit of the doubt – they simply wouldn’t have been stupid enought to allow a group of nine tee-off together.

But they should have monitored the situation to ensure they didn’t slow down what was a busy afternoon of bookings.

As for the green fees I paid…thanks for nothing.

I won’t be back for a while.

  • What’s the worst case of slow play you have experienced?